Who’s Really Controlling Your Life and is it Time to Take Your Power Back?

By: Tara Lee Ayotte on March 8, 2015

Controlling

For the vast majority of my life I had tried so hard to fit in and play by the rules, seeking others approvals and striving for virtues to which I believed would make me a better person. I would chase after what society told me was important and lived to please my family not knowing that all along I was only further disconnecting myself from the truth. No matter how hard I tried to fit into what I thought was right and wrong, I constantly found myself making mistakes and therefore unfolded the belief system of not being good enough. I struggled with this thought process most of my life until reaching my early 30’s where one day I had a profound awareness that I was not a product of modern society nor was my worth determined by the number of fancy cars I owned or the career I chose. Rather my self worth was determined by something far greater than anything this world could ever offer me. Brendon Burchard often mentions that we will all ask, “Did I live, did I love and did I matter?” These concepts are often overlooked by society and we loose focus of what really matters to us as we get caught up on the social scale and compete against each other for higher status, the best house or the most Facebook likes. The majority of us go through life not having the awareness of what really matters to us until the moment when our life is over? We all know this deep down so why do we ignore its calling to us while we are young and vibrant?

Up until recently, I had often wondered why I was creating such a hard and painful life? Why all my experiences had to be met with such resistance when I knew that each of them was coming into my life to remind me of the amazing and beautiful being that I am. I truly thought that things had to be this way, that the only way through all the layers of density was to fully experience all the pain, hurt and betrayal that had been pushed away for so long. And that’s when it all hit me and I realized that I no longer needed to live my life this way. I realized that yes what’s required of us is to fully be present and have the willingness to experience life without having to push it away, but it didn’t have to thunder through my life with such brute force.

Most of us meet life challenges with resistance and a certain level of control depending on the type of person we are. That being said, when we allow life to do what it is going to do and no longer intervene with everything, we find serenity. You see, what I’m trying to say is that we can choose to ride the roller coaster and enjoy the unknown twists and turns it offers while excitedly anticipating the next turn or we can sit in resistance and hold on for dear life and scream the whole way, but none the less, once were on the ride the only way to get off is to ride the entire track until we have reached the end or said differently the only way out is through. For most of us, this leads to a lot of resistance and therefore a much harsher ride or experience that stems from the foundation of not letting go or trying to control the outcome of what’s going to happen.

This can carry over to our everyday life and the experiences that unfold for us. So weather we are experiencing a terminal illness, are on the brink of a relationship falling apart or filing for bankruptcy, we have a choice. Do we respond or react to life situations, and just like riding the coaster, do we simply surrender to the unknown and enjoy the ride or do we tense up and resist what we know is unfolding in our lives anyway. This my friends is what makes all the difference!

When we come to accept that life will do what it does and that we have little or no control over that, we become aware of what’s actually going on and realize that it was never about controlling anything in the first place. Our feelings of discomfort and resistance were merely due to our misunderstanding about what it is that we actually control in our lives. For it’s not in the unfolding of the situation, but in how we choose to respond in any given moment. By understanding this simple yet powerful idea, we find greater fulfillment and abundance in life and can instead be in a state of wonder and allowance of what else is possible. When we do this, something amazing happens! We step into a space of greater possibilities, because we are no longer standing in our own way trying to figure it out with a restricted view. It’s like putting blinders on a horse and expecting the horse to see everything that is around it. We too have our blinders on and see only a fraction of the whole story and we cannot solve a problem with the same mindset that created it in the first place. We must let go and change our core vibration at the fundamental internal level. By doing so, the external environment can begin to show up in a new way. But it all starts with changing the state within. Until next time, enjoy the ride of life with the most ease and joy you can find! XO